Self talk is the dialogue we use to communicate to ourselves. It is the words we think and the perceptions we have of situations and of our own self image. Whether positive or negative, self talk affects our sense of self worth, our self esteem, and how we perceive and react to situations. In short, it literally affects everything in our lives mainly because our thoughts directly determine our actions. So if our thoughts are positive, our actions will also be positive and vice versa.
Patterns Of Self Talk
Self talk patterns begin early in childhood. These patterns develop first from outer influences. Our perception of ourselves come from the positive or negative things that our parents and other adults in our lives communicate to us. This communication can be verbal or through actions and reactions. As we started to grow up and have thoughts of our own they naturally followed the same pattern embedded in our early childhood.
The fact is that we are constantly talking to ourselves in a steady stream of mental conversation. This can be positive chatter or negative chatter. Sadly, most people have developed and cultivated a habit of negative self talk. This means that even small problems and obstacles are made into bigger ones, opportunities are nnot taken advantage of and life is not as fulfilling and rewarding as it could be.
The good news is, we have control over our own self talk. Our minds are powerful tools that we can use to bring about positive changes in our lives. All those wonderful life events and those brilliant successes can really be yours just by changing the self chatter that goes on in your mind.
Positive self talk is the uplifting, confidence building statements and thoughts that we use to shift from the negative to the positive and keep our focus there, in affect replacing the bad with the good. We cannot directly make everyone else in our lives be more positive however we can take control of what we feed into our own lives. It does take time and dedication to make the transition towards positive self talk but it will pay dividends and can a vast difference in our own overall happiness.
Making The Transition To Positive Self Talk
For those who have been inundated with negative self talk for most of their lives, the transition to positive sel talk is not always a smooth one. Many changes have to be made and change is sometimes difficult. Just remember that your negative self talk patterns did not form overnight therefore neither will a new positive self talk habit be instantaneous.
The first step is to identify where you most need to banish negativity. Most of us have dreams that we have not realized at least in part because of all the negative mental chatter. In essence, we talk ourselves out of working toward our dream. It could be your dream career or a relationship that you want to bring more harmony and love into. Becoming aware of all the negative thoughts and attitudes shows you your proximity to your goals and what needs to be changed.
Actively note the negative thoughts and terms that you use surrounding that particular area. It may even help you to zero in on those detrimental terms by writing them down. Writing them down also gives you a visual as to just how much negativity you feed yourself everyday. This may surprise you. Once you see it, you can begin to turn your self talk around.
The easiest way to increase your positive self talk is with positive affirmations, or positive statements, such as, ‘I deserve to succeed.’ Choose an affirmation that pertains to your personal goals, the links in the navigation bar contain lots of positive affirmations for you to try. Begin saying a few affirmations to yourself every day, every time you think about the are of your life you are trying to improve. You may not even believe in it yourself at first, however with time, you will see a shift in what you believe about that statement and about yourself.
Now, get out your list of negativity and begin to change the words you say to yourself and others. When you walk into your office and see the work load on your desk, change the usual, ‘I’ll never get all of this done’ to ’I know how to get this done and I am capable of getting this done, I will succeed.’ This simple act of encouraging yourself through positive self talk will provide you with confidence and motivation to succeed. What’s more is that it will become infectious and you will find yourelf encouraging those around you who will more often than not reciprocate back creating an excellent positivie environment for success.
The Affects of Positive Self Talk
Once you begin practicing positive self talk you will see many changes. These changes will, with time, manifest as your goals achieved. The positive changes do not stop with you. You will see them in the lives of those around you. The effects of positive self talk are far reaching. Not only do you feel better about yourself and more confident, those around you will see that self-esteem and confidence and treat you accordingly. They will have higher epectations of you and you will in turn live up to them.
Of course there may still be upsets and let downs. What your new habit of positive self talk will do for you is to help you handle these set backs. From minor to major disappointments, you will be able to pull yourself back up, reset your goals, and continue on. Defeat will have a difficult time overcoming you because you now know how to turn on the positive self talk.
Positive attracts positive. The better you become at positive self talk the more positivity will flow through you into all areas of your life and in turn, good things will be begin to flow to you. It just makes sense to modify your self talk. You have nothing to lose and a lifetime of harmony and happiness to gain. You can start right now!