Feb
21

How to get motivated: 4 NLP strategies that really work!

I’ve had this blog for years now and post on and off. I recently came across this article below, which I really enjoyed and it got me thinking, hey why don’t you share some other peoples great writings, seeing as though I haven’t quite got the time to write so much myself anymore. That way I can keep providing fresh quality content to the visitors that I get everyday. So here we go I hope you enjoy the read. NLP is a technique I’ve used often in the past and I’ve been keen to learn more. Drop any comment below and enjoy…

Author: Anna Aparicio

/mo·ti·va·tion/

1. The reason or reasons one has for acting or behaving in a particular way

2. The general desire or willingness of someone to do something

3. *My own definition: the art of getting off your butt and getting stuff done

Because here is the thing: you may have a burning desire to do something, you may have the best will in the world, you may even know all the reasons why you should do it… but if you haven’t done it yet, don’t be surprised.

Getting motivated doesn’t happen by coincidence or by miracle. Motivation is not something that some people have and others don’t either. It is something we all do, consciously or unconsciously, everyday!

Motivation is not something you have or don’t have; it is something you do

Take training, for example, notice I say training, and not exercising! We want to do it, we know it is good for us, we know it is going to make us look better and feel better… but after a hard day’s work, when tiredness sets in, who would blame us for wanting to slouch on the couch and watch some TV while eating our favourite treat?

Well, think of taking a shower for a moment. Most of us do it every day. We don’t wait until we are all stinky to clean ourselves. We do it because it is the right thing to do; it is time to take a shower.

We are able to do this because we have built up this good habit over the years through repetition. We do it at the same time, in the same place, following the same routine, which is so ingrained in our unconscious that we are barely aware of the process.

If you want to get to the point where your training routine goes as smoothly as your shower routine, start following the following NLP rules:

1# IDENTIFY EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT TO DO

Answer these questions:

What do you want specifically? When do you want it by? Where? With whom? What for? What will happen if you achieve that? What if you don’t achieve that? Is it under your control? Is it worth it?

You see, when setting up goals, a lot of people do it wrong. They state what they want to have, not what they want to do; things like “I want to be slim”, “I want a six pack” or “I want to have toned arms”… But, what do you want to do? Because it is as a result of you doing what you need to do that you will get to have what you want.

Your objective needs to be stated in a way that your brain understands it. And just like your computer, your brain needs 3 things: affirmative statements that are direct and very specific.

If you are just thinking it then it is not an objective, it is just a thought. So, put pen to paper and write your answers to the questions above.

If you don’t know what you want, how will you know when you’ve got there?


2# MAKE A PLAN

Again, if you don’t have a plan, all you have is a lovely thought. I suggest you get yourself a diary, an excel sheet, a calendar, whatever works for you, and devise your personal strategy. A strategy to suit your lifestyle, your working schedule, etc…

Keeping the end result in mind, what is the first step you need to take in order for you to do what you need to do? And after that? What’s next? Do you have all the resources you need (resources are materials, books, money, people…), or do you need help?

If it’s going to take you 12 weeks to get a six pack, set a date and work backwards from there. If you want to lose a stone in 3 weeks, do the same. Break your objective into smaller, more achievable chunks, so that this week you know exactly what you are doing with regards to training and nutrition, and you can focus on just that. As I tell my clients, it’s one week at a time, one day at a time.

You see, now you have more than just a nice thought; now you have a plan of action. And believe it or not, this is what most people lack. It’s hard to get motivated if you don’t know what you want to get motivated for!

And what are you going to do when you are tired, sad, in a mad mood, frustrated…? You must put strategies in place, so when that happens, and it will, you know exactly what to do. You have to become a bit of a ninja!

3# FIND OUT WHAT FIRES YOU UP

There are a lot of things that we need to or should do, but that doesn’t mean we do them. So I want you to try on the following sentences, simply add what you want to be able to do at the end.

For example, if you want to go to the gym every day at 6pm for an hour, try these on. Say them out loud:

I should go to the gym – I need to go to the gym – I have to go to the gym – I’d better go to the gym -

I could go to the gym – I can go to the gym – I will go to the gym – I’m going to the gym

Do this a few times and notice which one creates the strongest feeling within you, like you want to go do it. You’ve just unlocked your personal motivational language. Make sure you use it from now on!

4# IMAGINE YOURSELF SUCCEEDING

One of the main functions of the brain is to prove itself right. So, whatever you focus on is magnified, as the brain thinks it is an objective of yours. Also, the brain doesn’t know the difference between a vividly imagined memory and reality. This is why if you want to do something, it’s vital you imagine yourself doing it like this (read this NLP resource fully before you do it):

Think of yourself doing the thing you want to do, training in the gym, or whatever. When you think about it you may notice the thought to be at a certain distance from you, a certain size, and in a certain place. Just make sure you see yourself in it, looking happy, positive and really enjoying what you are doing.

 Now, imagine the thought getting bigger and bigger until it’s almost panoramic. Make sure it’s big, bold and colourful, maybe add some sound to it, and notice how good you feel.

 Now, imagine you can float outside of your body and into yourself in the image, so you can see through your eyes, hear through your ears and feel how good it feels to be doing what you are doing and loving it too! Intensify everything even more, so the colours are brighter, the sounds louder and the feelings stronger.

 Now, tell yourself in your most motivating voice “Go For It!”

 Now, take a deep breath through the nose and magnify the feelings so you feel even more motivated!

 Repeat 3 times, first sitting down, and then standing up, and notice how you feel even more motivated!

It’s vital that you build a propulsion system that makes you feel good and look forward to doing the things you want to do, so that you want to do them more and more. This is how you get to build up new more useful habits to last you a lifetime.

I’ve just shared 4 motivational strategies with you,  that when you use them, they will help you get more stuff done and achieve more, faster. They can be applied in any area of your life. These strategies have helped transform some of my clients from couch potatoes into fitness freaks, so good luck to you!

About the Author

Anna Aparicio is regarded as Ireland’s top female NLP/Hypnosis Life Coach. A Self-esteem and Confidence Expert, she has helped hundreds of women all around the world feel empowered, super confident, and lead happier more succesful lives. With a unique blend of Neuro-linguistic Programming, cutting edge personal development tools, and a contagious sense of humour and zest for life, Anna is renowned for getting results fast. Now you can get her free report WHY YOU’LL NEVER GET WHAT YOU WANT UNLESS YOU DO THIS at http://www.delite.ie

 

 

Mar
27

Trusting Your Higher Self

The ancient Egyptians were apparently masters at this, women are said to do it more than men and leading sports people seemingly have access to this pool of power on tap. So when, where and how can this higher -self be accessed? And why the chuff am I talking in riddles today.

Well, I’m talking about using your own intuition of course. Some people swear by it, some people ignore it and some people will give you a sly look and mutter something like: “What planet are you from?”.

I remember reading somewhere that of a story whereby the leading bank manager who had the highest success rate in handing out small business loans that were successfully paid back in full and thus made the bank money was  a gentleman who rather than look through the business plans, balance sheets and cash flow forecasts of the businesses concerned simply decided by holding the application documents in their hands and deciding on gut instinct whether they should lend them money or not. This technique apparently out-performed all other specialist techniques business analysts used. Spooky hey. Could it be that they are accessing a higher self to make the decisions?

Sports people are often said to be ‘in the zone’ when they are on a hot streak and out-performing everyone else. They play the perfect games, they can’t seem to miss and everything goes right for them. What is helping them make the correct decisions in the ebb and flow of a game with potentially massive pressure on their shoulders?

My own theory is that it is rather like the whole being greater than the some of its parts. We are three part beings, or so we often hear: id, ego, super-ego… mind, body, spirit… father, son, holy ghost. Each of these parts could be said to represent ourselves on some different level. When each of these parts is pulling in the same direction, this is when the magic starts to happen! When we are true to ourselves, when we pursue those interest and motivations that come from deep within ourselves, we intrinsically know that it is the right thing to do. We spend less time wondering about or complaining about things and instead simply focus on the job in hand, our mind is in the right place. We feel more connected with the world, we can feel the bigger picture more (our spirit) and see where we fit in with it, our actions and then free and uninhibited by worry as we know we are on the right path.

This three fold path, which may sound a little fanciful at first reading is however a very powerful way of living I believe. If the three parts of yourself are trying to do different things it can lead to confusion, a growing feeling of sadness and of an unfulfilled existence. Now, I’m certainly no expert but my feeling is that the most successful people in life have their mind-body-spirit all aligned which gives them a massive edge over other people and gives them an inner peace which allows them to pursue their goals with a much greater zest and self-belief.

Utter non-sense, complete drivel or sage words? You decide, when you have been successful in life have your words, thoughts and deeds all matched up? Are your mind, body and spirit all pulling in the same direction and stacking the odds in your favour right now? If not why not?

Mar
21

Rekindling Desire: Take One Moral, a Dash of Alcohol and Mix With a 30 Day Challenge!

Well, here goes. It has been absolutely ages since I have posted on here. Work, social life, the odd health issue, laziness and a general lack of direction have been preventing me from adding regularly to the site. We all only have a limited amount of hours in the day and what we choose to do in our free time really matters. So why on earth would anyone spend it writing to themselves on a blog?

Fortunately this site has been around a while and still gets a steadyish number (albeit a small amount) of daily visitors, just about enough to encourage me back out of my shell. In all honesty starting a blog is really like setting yourself homework every night of the week. I was bad enough at that at school so why would I do that voluntarily now? Indeed why am I even posting this?

Well, I do kind of like writing but I think I lost track a little bit about what and how I like writing. I like writing and talking spontaneously about whatever comes naturally to mind. Looking back at some of the posts and articles they seemed rather forced and ‘not really me’. That’s the problem when you take notice of other people (so called gurus) and what they think you should be writing about. That lead to my enjoyment of blogging here dwindling and so my postings tailed off considerably.

So, why am I back here now? Well, I just received an e-mail from someone about one of my sites and it reminded me of how involved I used to be with all of this. I remember that I did used to enjoy blogging as it helped me examine, reflect on, and think about different areas of life and I did used to enjoy writing spontaneous articles, the sort of stuff that just flows out my mind rather than that which is drafted, redrafted, over and over until finally it feels so academic that all personality and feeling has gone from it. So, my new idea is that I will try and post on here everyday for a month, spontaneously, randomly and hopefully about something that has some meaning or relevance to myself, that others may also get something out of too. So let’s see how far I get with it.

And just for the record this post took about 10 mins to write and I have enjoyed writing it :) And of course the moral of the story is… (because every article needs a moral of course) that you should never lose sight of exactly who and what you are, be true to yourself and not only will you feel better about things but the good times will surely follow.

P.S. Todays picture is alcohol related because I think alcohol receives such bad press and no-one seems to celebrate the fact that, hey, having a few drinks to relax with your friends is actually quite a nice thing to do and often brings occasions alive, you know what I mean, yeah sure you do :)

 

Oct
11

From Despair To Vibrant Positivity In 22 Easy Steps

This is of my favourite positive thinking techniques that really does help you to achieve a feeling of vibrant positivity even when you are currently feeling very down and in a bad place.

We all know that we should be positive, and that thoughts become things and that what we think about we bring about. Well, that’s all very well, and it’s a great way to live your life, however, sometimes in life things don’t go to plan, events take a downward turn. A job falls through, ill health takes a hold, you lose a loved one, finances take a hit and so on. There are so many things that can drag you down, and of course despite our good intentions they sometimes do.

It is at these times when we are in a bad place that we are supposed to be positive and purposeful. Think positive thoughts, be optimistic, see the good in everyone and live to fight another day. For a lot of people these are the times when they are at their weakest, when they succumb to negative thoughts and poor behaviour patterns, I’m sure we have all felt sorry for ourself at one time or another, comfort ate to make ourselves feel better, wallowed in our own self pity and allowed ourselves to slide down the positivity scale.

I know I am guilty of all of the above and I would like to share with you a short exercise that will take you from a bad mental place to a positive state. I cannot claim to have ’invented’ this method, far from it. What follows is a summary of a technique I read about in ‘Ask And It Is Given’ by Jerry and Esther Hicks. The process is basically as follows and always produces good results for me:

First, you must identify from the list below what your current emotion is. Once you have done this you create a sentence about your situation using the following sentence stem: I feel (insert emotion identified) because…..

After that, you then move to the next emotion above that one and repeat the same sentence. The pattern is continued until you have worked your way up to as high as you want to go on the list, here is the list:

1. Joy/Knowledge/Empowerment/Freedom/Love/Appreciation

2. Passion

3. Enthusiasm/Eagerness/Happiness

4. Positive Expectation/Belief

5. Optimism

6. Hopefulness

7. Contentment

8. Boredom

9. Pessimism

10. Frustration/Irritation/Impatience

11. Overwhelment

12. Disappointment

13. Doubt

14. Worry

15. Blame

16. Discouragement

17. Anger

18. Revenge

19. Hatred/Rage

20. Jealousy

21. Insecurity

22. Fear/Grief/Depression/Despair/Powerlessness

Her is an example of this process as written by someone suffering from a serious disease/medical condition:

I feel angry because I have been unforunate enough to become very sick with a chronic disease. I feel discouraged because it is a hard disease to cure and the treatments are difficult to endure, I blame myself for this situation because I should have done something differently to stop this happening, I feel worried because this condition can be life threatening, I doubt that the treatment will be easy, I feel disappointed that my life has been so badly affected by this condition, I feel overwhelmed because there is so much new information I need to find out about this…

…I feel frustrated that I cannot get cured faster or more easily, I feel pessimistics because people do die from this condition, I feel bored after having read so much about this, I feel content that the medical doctors are doing everything they can, I feel hopeful as the treatment may work for me and there may be better treatments coming soon, I feel optimistic because my condition is not far advanced at the moment and the treatment may work for me, I feel positive because of my relative youth and the prospect of new medicines, I feel enthusiastic at starting treatment that could cure my condtion for ever, I feel passionate about getting my life back to normal and I deeply appreciate the wonderful medical science that can cure me!

As you can see the sentences fit together logically and gradually moved up the scale of emotions to finally end on a real positive note. For me I believe the reason this positive thinking technique works so well, is because you are not trying to jump from a feeling of depression straight to a feeling of happiness directly. You are building up to it in a slow methodical, logical and meaningful way. This therefore provides a bedrock or a genuine basis or reason to be able to feel the more positive feelings without them feeling like hollow thoughts. You have basically managed to pull yourself up from a low place to a high place in a gradual manner without ‘cheating’ the system. And because you aren’t making any big jumps in feelings it makes for a much more sustainable and credible new feeling. The process of writing these sentences out also adds greatly to the effectiveness of this technique as it makes you identify exactly why you are feeling in such a manner.

The only drawback I find with using this positive thinking technique is that of not remembering to use it often enough, and also having the list of emotions/words to hand, to refer to whenever you want.

I’d love to hear any of your experiences in using this system to produce vibrant positivity or maybe you have some methods of your own (here’s a few more) that you wouldn’t mind sharing below, thanks.

And here’s a cool little clip about how to be happy – made by kids – very cool indeed, enjoy…

 

 

Oct
08

Duncan Bannatyne: Rags To Riches!

Born into post war poverty in 1949 in Dalmuir, just west of Glasgow in Scotland, Duncan’s childhood was blighted by a lack of money. He describes his own family as being ‘simply poor’ and vividly recalls his family being too poor to even afford to buy him an ice-cream when the local ice cream van was on its rounds.

In fact more often than not, as a child he went without and upon asking his parents why they couldn’t buy new toys like the neighbours the phrase that became emblazoned on his memory was ‘because we were poor’. In fact to illustrate the point further, upon starting his middle school days he was one of only two children he turned up on the first day without a school uniform as it had been too expensive for his family to afford!

From this humble background on a council estate, however, emerged a self-made multi-millionaire serial entrepreneur and businessman who was to go on to earn an OBE, raise incredible amounts of money for charity and become a household name as a television business expert/investor (Sunday Times Rich list 2010 profiles Duncan). It wasn’t an easy route to the top and indeed he showed no real signs of the great things to come until he had turned thirty.

After leaving school with no qualifications he followed his father into the armed service but whilst his father had been in the army he joined up with Royal Navy in 1964 to fuel his craving for excitement and adventure. Unfortunately after a few short years, Duncan’s inability to adhere well to taking orders and the disciplined life, led him to be dishonourably discharged after one final instance when he tried to throw his lieutenant overboard.

Duncan served 9 months in a military detention centre following his court marshalling and then returned to Scotland and Clydebank. What followed was a string of different jobs working mainly as a repairer of sorts, repairing everything from tractors to forklift trucks. At this time there was the tragic death of his sister who died from a suspected brain tumour just days after flying to Canada where she was due to start a new life. This event affected him (and all of his family) a great deal and the following years proved to be very difficult with Duncan picking up convictions for being drunk and disorderly and resisting arrest.

“The tragic death of my sister had taught me that life was precious and can be short.”

A further string of repair, fitting and welding jobs led him south, although it was at his point that he came to some sort of realisation.

“I quit and decided I had to make some changes. I knew it was all down to me: I would be the catalyst; I was the only one who could make it happen. My instincts told me that I would know the right opportunity when I came across it.”

Following his desire to change his life he followed his instincts and ended up on the isle of Jersey and soon found himself enjoying the relaxed holiday lifestyle and made his money working in the local bars and working a taxi. Finally he happened upon the idea of selling ice-cream and bought himself an ice cream van. Initially working from just the one van he learnt the ebbs and flows of business by instinct and trial and error and this he believes was what laid the foundations of his future business success.

“I got to know myself, my strengths and my capabilities. I also got to like and believe in myself., and the idle notion that one day I might someday start a business began fermenting into quite a powerful brew. What was once a dream was becoming an intention.”

After building the ice cream business, through spotting and taking easy opportunities (like purchasing vans at the end of the season and securing licenses for areas with large amounts of foot traffic next to parks) he managed to generate annual turnovers in excess of £300,000 a year.

However, the long hours and his new family life weren’t the greatest mix and so he sold his Ice-cream van business for £28,000 and started looking for his next opportunity. At around that time favourable laws were introduced for those people wishing to build care homes for the elderly. The Thatcher government would pay £140s per week for every elderly person being looked after. This opportunity which was announced to the public through the papers is just what Duncan was looking for and so he set about building his first care home satisfied that the government would be reliable payers!

His first plot of land was a real find though and his instinct told him it was the right spot:

“On my way to the coffee shop I passed an estate agent, and in the window was a plot of land for sale. If it had been a movie, that card in the window would have started glowing, the music would have started up and my eyes would have bulged”.

Financing the building was a challenge in itself though, he had to sell his car, remortgage his house and max out his credit cards in order to get the care home built, clearly he saw this as a worthy investment despite the risk involved. Duncan clearly had great vision and tons of self-belief.

“There wasn’t a day I wasn’t happy to get out of bed and get to work.”

This first care home was finally opened and indeed it was one of the first care homes in the UK to be one person per room. This is however where Duncan’s hunger, desire and serial entrepreneurial instinct kicked in. Immediately upon opening this care home he set about using this one as leverage to build a second and then a third and fourth. His reasoning seemed to be why wouldn’t you buy something that makes money?

“Some people would have been happy with just one nursing home, but all I could say was onwards and upwards.”

Listen to Duncan telling his own story below:

One of the most enlightening parts of working with the elderly was the insights he gained into life. One common comment from many guests was:

“Make the most of every minute, you’re a young man and you have no idea how quickly time passes.”

So, after 5 years in the care home game, he had grown his business to 9 care homes and 428 registered beds and he began to consider the prospect of floating his business on the stock exchange despite knowing nothing about the process involved which would enable him to release some of the companies equity . Through persistence and tenacity, he finally managed to float the business on the Londond stockmexchange in May 1992 and thus netted himself a £500,000 cash payout and the companies total share value was at around the 20 million pound mark with Duncan owning at least 70% of those.

After his success with ice cream vans and care homes he then set his sights on other such service related opportunities including hotels and health clubs (Bannatyne Health Clubs). It was whilst he was on holiday working-out that the idea of starting health clubs got into his system and in true Bannatyne fashion things happened pretty quickly. These days the Bannatyne Health club chain has over 60 branches all over the UK with over 180,000 members and is the largest independently owned health club operator in the UK.

In recent years his remarkable story has seen him feature as a Dragon in the UK hit television series: Dragons Den (sample episode). His forthright manner, cheeky humour and sound advice have led him to become a popular television personality and he has invested in many a fellow entrepreneurs ideas through the show.

Not so well known is the amount of charity work (Duncan’s personal website) he has done and the amount of money he has raised for charity. Romania is where a lot of his efforts and money have been channelled into. Of course, this is the great reward of being wealthy, you can go onto contribute to society and live the life you really want to lead and this is what Duncan appears to be doing up until this very day.

The title of his autobiography ‘Anyone Can Do It’ where all the above quotes come from is truly an inspirational read, tracing his early years of lack and poverty right through to his meteoric rise to the top. Can anyone do it? What do you think?

 

Sep
29

The Formula For Visualisation And The Law of Attraction

I know, I know, the law of attraction has been done to death in recent years. Everything that needs to be said has already been said you might be thinking. Well, that’s what I thought until I stumbled across this cool little video. It is a short 20 minute video of one man’s story of just how powerful the law of attraction can be. The gentleman concerned is famed for his ability to manifest incredible things, things like houses! Yeah, really!

The guys name is John Assaraf and yes, he was one of the people featured in the movie ‘The Secret’. Now, don’t go thinking you don’t need to listen to this guy again just because you have seen ‘The Secret Movie’. The reason being is that in the sencond half of the video he describes in much more detail what his personal procedure is for manifesting is and also what he believes the reasons for why his process works.

For some people, the how or why something works is not important. For other people like me, they want to know why and how things work, or at least have a workable theory. I like to have a workable theory because it gives me much more belief in what I am doing, and of course the more belief you have in something the more likely you will be to stick at pursuing it… and the longer you pursue something, the better you become, the better results you get and the more you want to pursue that thing! So you end up in a very positive place just from having that bit extra belief in something, in this case a procedure for using the law of attraction.

At minute 8.29, the formula is revealed but the explanation/his theory before and after is what I found more interesting:

Some of the quotes that stood out for me in there were:

“There are no accidents’, there are no coincidences”

“It’s the repetitiveness of visualisation with the associated emotion that makes it work”

“Visualisation plus emotion times by repetition is the forumla”

“Everything works in perfect order and harmony in an intelligent universe which responds not to our thinking, not to our word, but responds to our emotion.”

“If I was feeling and acting as if this home was already mine, the lifestyle that I live (want to have) is already mine, the universe is going to match and mirror that emotion.”

“All we are seeing in this physical world of ours is a reflection of what is happening in the brain.”

“We want to make sure that when we visulilse, that we are doing the repetition with emotion and that is what creates the neural networks in the brain, once the neural networks are created that’s your movie, and then your movie has to then be played out in the physical world.”

“It’s not the eyes that see, the eyes just let light in, it’s the brain that deciphers what that information is, so if you closed your eyes and created a sequence for the car that you are driving, the home that you want to live in, the body that you want to have, the money you want to give to charities, you can create that image in your mind, that movie in your mind and the clearer it is in your mind, you can take the behaviours without having even have to see them.”

“There’s another network of cells which is the reticular activating system which is at the back of the brain…that is getting information from the universe at the rate of 400 billion bits of information per second and it deletes or distorts anything that doesn’t match up with what you are focussing on that’s high up on your importance list.”

The last quote there about the retiuclar activating system is the most interesting for me as it is really referring to something known as selective attention (More info from Wiki here). In affect you end up looking for information by instinct that is going to help you work towards your visualisations and filtering out information that is not helpful in creating the visualisations we are practising.

Well, after watching that video and writing about it, I feel I have refreshed my knowledge on visualisation and the law of attraction. In fact I’m going to give myself a challenge of creating a new visualisation and to practice it with emotion everyday for the next 30 days. I’ll do a follow up post on the results a little further down the line.

I hope you enjoyed the video and my ramblings, if you have any thoughts on this topic or advice for others then by all means leave a comment…

Cheers,

James

PS, BTW – at the end of the interview they mentioned a new ‘Mind Movies System’ which has proven very popular for performing highly effective visualisations, take a look here for more info.

 

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